Help Me Remember
by Lillie Flowers
Summary: While we're all waiting for next season, here's a little something I'm writing to help hold me over. COMPLETE! Spoilers for The End in the Beginning
1. Chapter 1

Booth lay quietly in his hospital bed. He stared at the ceiling, counting the tiles silently to himself, but his mind seemed so tired, he felt weary after only a few moments. Turning his head, he looked out into the hallway. The doctors were still talking to the woman. Dr. Brennan she had said her name was. He didn't remember her. She had explained that they were partners, that he was Agent Seeley Booth and he worked at the F.B.I., and she was some kind of scientist…archeologist did she say? No, that wasn't right. He looked at her through the window. She was very pretty, and she had seemed sweet, but he felt no familiarity in her appearance. There was a certain sadness in this. He felt too numb, too far away from his own self to know her, or even to know that he should know her. He knew that this was hurting the pretty woman who stood crying in the hallway, and he wanted to help. He tried hard to think, to remember something about her. He looked closely at her clothes, her hair, her face…trying to grasp something familiar. His mind felt as if it were in a haze. He reached out for something, and grasped only blank spaces. Frustrated, he turned away from the window and began counting the ceiling tiles again.

The door to his room opened, and Dr. Brennan walked slowly in. She paused at the foot of his bed, as if waiting for his permission to speak. He only looked at her.

"Booth, I've been talking to your doctor. He believes that your amnesia is most likely temporary." She spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child. Booth wondered vaguely if he was an intelligent man. "He says that you will be released this evening, if you're up to it, since your body is recovered. Sweets…a psychologist who works with us…is going to help you try to get your memories back. How does that sound?"

He wanted to react. He wanted to say that it was fine, but he didn't know how. Did he normally shrug his shoulders? Did he wink? Was there something in particular that he usually said? The confusion was overwhelming. Dr. Brennan looked sadly down at him. Finally, he managed to get out, "That will be fine." The words felt wrong. He should have said something else. She smiled, and he felt a little bit better. She seemed kind, and he decided he would do his best to trust her. He felt a little sadness, realizing that she was the only person he knew.

"I thought, if you were up to it, your friends could come in and see you. Maybe one of them could trigger a memory for you."

He nodded. He liked the idea of seeing friends, whoever they were. Maybe they would feel more familiar than this woman. He felt oddly guilty for that thought, and pushed it out of his head.

The first person who walked in the door was a pretty, dark-skinned woman with large eyes and a sophisticated appearance. Her clothes were neat and pressed, her hair was pinned up, and her face seemed calm. She looked questioningly at Dr. Brennan, then walked gracefully into the room.

"Booth," Brennan said softly, "Do you recognize this woman?"

Booth looked carefully for a long time. He thought maybe if he just waited, the recognition would sink in. He closed his eyes, then re-opened them. Nothing. Finally, he sighed.

"No, I'm sorry."

The woman looked disappointed. She smiled weakly at Booth and spoke gently, "My name is Camille Saroyan. You usually call me Cam." She waited, then continued when Booth didn't speak. "We…we've known each other for a long time." Still nothing. The woman seemed to deflate, and she pressed her lips together in a tight smile. "Okay, well we can try someone else. I'll see you around Seeley."

She turned and walked from the room. He looked over at Dr. Brennan.

"Is she my girlfriend?"

Dr. Brennan's eyes seemed to flicker for a moment, but Booth wasn't sure what emotion lay behind them. She shook her head. "You have had past relationships with her, more than once, I believe. To my knowledge, you are not currently romantically involved with anyone."

Booth nodded. He felt somewhat relieved.

Over the next hour, Booth was re-introduced to the people he had known for years. Dr. Lance Sweets, Angela Montenegro, Dr. Jack Hodgins, Caroline Julian, Russ Brennan, Max Keenan, and others filed in one at a time, some noisily telling jokes and laughing nervously, and others speaking softly and squeezing his hand. By the time the last person left his hospital room, he was in a panic. He remembered nothing, and he felt nothing except the churning in his sour stomach. Dr. Brennan stayed in the room, watching his reactions and saying nothing. He felt an urge to run her out, but though he felt nothing for her, he knew from her somber looks that he was important to her. Despite his frustration, he was determined to help her if he could.

"Booth," she suddenly spoke quietly, "There is one other person we could bring in, but it may not be a good idea." She hesitated, and he nodded to encourage her. "You have a son. His name is Parker." Booth blinked in shock. He had a son? How could he not remember his own son? Frustration melted into anger, and Booth let out a cry that brought Dr. Brennan quickly to his bedside.

"Never mind, Booth. We don't need to do that yet. I know this must be difficult for you. Please don't panic. We'll get through this." She held his hand tightly, and he felt strangely childlike, listening to her calming words and feeling her mothering touch. He found himself believing her words, and he settled back into his pillow, letting her voice lull him to sleep.

Booth awoke from nothing. He wished he could have dreamed something familiar, but he simply opened his eyes and felt confused all over again. Dr. Brennan was no longer in her place by his bed, and he felt himself missing her presence. He was less tired, and he sat up in bed, taking in the rush he felt in his upper body. He closed his eyes and concentrated, trying again to grasp something he recognized.

"Booth?"

His eyes flickering open, Booth was pleased to see Dr. Brennan standing in the doorway, her eyes questioning.

"Are you feeling better?"

He smiled. "I think so. I still don't remember anything, but I feel more awake."

She nodded and stepped into the room. "Are you ready to go home?"

Booth felt the panic rising again. Home? He didn't even know what home was. She seemed to sense his hesitation.

"Don't worry. I'll go with you. It will be fine. We'll take this one step at a time."

Three hours later, Booth sat in the passenger seat of his vehicle. The only reason he knew it was his was because he was told. He didn't recognize anything about it. He was slowly getting used to this. Dr. Brennan drove carefully, and he got the feeling he didn't normally let her drive. He couldn't help but smile at this.

"So, how long have we been partners?" He felt more confident, and was anxious to find out about himself.

"About four years. We've worked dozens of cases together. You're very good at your job, and I'm quite intelligent. We make a good team." He glanced at her curiously, wondering if this was how she was all the time.

"And, we're…just co-workers?"

She stared at the road, nodding her head. "Yes, just co-workers, and good friends, I believe."

Booth looked out his window. Something nagged at the back of his mind, but as with everything else, it couldn't be grasped.

As they drove toward his apartment, Brennan answered each of his questions in as simply and unbiased as she could. He was pleased to find out that he was intelligent, and not so pleased to find out that he had killed…several times. He quickly changed the subject away from work, and found that Dr. Brennan knew little about his personal life. What she did know was vague, and he found himself wishing someone else could be taking him home. Again, the guilt for this thought pushed it back.

"Here we are." Dr. Brennan helped Booth out of the car and led him up the stairs to his apartment. He felt a strange terror facing the door. She seemed to sense it, and fished his key out of his pocket. When she opened the door, he smelled the air, and for a moment, it almost seemed familiar. He walked slowly in, taking in the room.

"It's pretty messy, isn't it?"

Brennan laughed as she closed the door behind him. Hearing her laugh sent a warm feeling through his body. He smiled, thankful for the feeling.

"Organization is not one of your strong suits. Would you like me to show you around?"

Booth nodded, silently thanking her for asking. He followed her numbly around the apartment, poking his head in rooms, picking up trinkets and rolling them around in his hands. He felt no connection with anything. Sighing, he sat on the bed in the back room. Brennan sat next to him, saying nothing.

"Dr. Brennan," he began.

"Oh, please, Booth, you don't have to call me that." She seemed bothered by his formality. "You usually call me…well, you can call me Temperance. Would you be comfortable with that?"

He absolutely was not comfortable with that, but he thought he would try it.

"Temperance," the word felt funny in his mouth, "I was wondering if you…well, do you have a family to go home to? I mean, I don't know if…"

"Would you like me to stay with you, Booth?" she interrupted.

She had such a strange way of putting him at ease. Smiling, he nodded. "I just feel like such a stranger to everything, and since I'm just starting to feel…comfortable…with you, I thought if you don't mind…"

"I don't mind." She seemed almost pleased with his request. "I would be happy to stay here. I don't have any family waiting at home." He winced at the words, but there was no bitterness in her voice, only honestly. "I believe you have an extra bed for Parker. Would you mind if I slept there?"

Oddly enough, Booth had no idea if he minded. "You tell me. Would I mind?"

She smiled. "I don't think so. Let me run a few errands, and on my way back, I'll stop by the store and get something for dinner."

Booth nodded, and watched her leave. As soon as she was gone, he felt himself being devoured by loneliness. The apartment was silent and cold to him, and he longed to get away from it. He took in several deep breaths, and remembered Brennan's words. One step at a time…

Two hours later, Brennan walked in the front door to find Booth sitting on the living room floor. He looked completely dejected. He felt much worse, but he was relieved that she was back. Her closeness was soothing.

"Would you like to take a shower while I make dinner?" she asked. Booth nodded, and followed her to the bathroom. She started the water running and left the room. He stripped and stepped under the hot water, feeling it run over his skin. He tried to gather his thoughts, but this simple function was beyond him. His thoughts stayed scattered and in pieces.

Booth reached for the shampoo, and was puzzled to see two different bottles. He reached for the first and smelled it, then changed his mind and reached for the second, but it didn't smell right either. Booth felt the panic rising again, and wondered if the rest of his life would be this way, nothing ever feeling right. Booth suddenly felt as if the world was closing down on him, and he cried out and slid down to the shower floor, his head in his hands.

He heard the door open a few moments later, and his partner stepped into the bathroom. She reached up and pointed the stream of water away from his face. The water ran over his bent knees.

"I don't know which shampoo to use." The explanation felt ridiculous, and he half expected her to laugh. Instead, she reached over and pulled both shampoo bottles off the shower rack. Smelling each, she chose the bigger bottle and squeezed a small amount into her hands. Gently, she rubbed the shampoo into his hair, massaging his scalp and speaking softly.

"This smells like you. The other is probably for Parker. I brought you a towel and some clothes; they're on the counter." She leaned his head forward and rinsed out the shampoo in the running water. As she ran her fingers through his hair, he sighed and felt the panic dissipate. A gentle calm washed over him, and he felt very disappointed when she let go of him and stepped back.

"I'm going to finish dinner. Is there anything else you need?"

He smiled, suddenly very thankful that he had this wonderful person in his life, even if he couldn't remember exactly how wonderful she was.


	2. Chapter 2

His first night back home, Booth drifted in and out of a dreamless sleep. Each time he awoke, he had to resist the urge to call his partner. He knew that she lay sleeping in the next room, and from what he had observed about her so far, he suspected she wouldn't object to lying next to him as he fell asleep. He desperately wanted to ask her. Her gentle, motherly way of looking after him was so calming that he found himself oddly dependent on her, despite his having no memory of her or their partnership. He was desperately sorry for this. It was terrible to not know about his own self, but somehow, he could tell from the way she diligently took care of him that the relationship they shared was unique. He shared a special bond with her, one that was now shattered, and he wanted so much to get it back.

Around two a.m., Booth gave up and silently climbed out of bed. He felt his way to the hallway and into the next bedroom. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw his partner stretched out across the small bed, her left arm dangling over the side. Quietly, he made his way to her and lifted her arm back to her side. Moaning softly, she turned, and her eyes fluttered open.

"Booth?" she mumbled, "Is everything okay?" She started to sit up, but Booth gently pushed her back down.

"Everything's fine. I just couldn't sleep. Would you mind if I sat with you for a while?"

Brennan scooted over as far to the right as she could, and Booth lay down beside her. She propped herself up sleepily and faced him as he settled next to her.

"Are you having bad dreams?"

He shook his head.

"No. I almost wish I would. Even a bad dream would be better than none."

She nodded as if she understood and reached over to take his hand. He found himself taken in by her beauty. Her hair fell loosely across her shoulders, and even in the darkness, he could make out her beautiful features. She was lovely.

"Temperance," he began slowly, "I want to remember you."

She squeezed his hand and nodded, and he could hear the sadness in her voice.

"I want you to remember me."

Booth reached over hesitantly and slid his fingers into her hair, finding his way down her face until he held her cheek in his hand. She smiled and lay her head down on her pillow. She closed her eyes, and Booth soon knew from her heavy breathing that she was asleep. She was so soft, and he felt emotion cause his voice to break as he spoke in a whisper.

"Help me remember."


	3. Chapter 3

Booth awoke to find himself sore. He glanced to his right and frowned when he saw that he was alone. Pulling himself up, he winced and rubbed his shoulder. The bed was obviously not made for two people.

Dr. Brennan had laid out more clothes next to the bed, and Booth dressed quickly. He could smell breakfast cooking, and he was relieved that he hadn't been deserted. He made his way into the kitchen and saw Brennan sitting at the table, sipping coffee and typing on a laptop. She looked up and smiled.

"Good morning, Booth. How do you feel?"

Something inside of Booth stung sharply, but before he could identify the feeling, it dissipated, and he did his best to shake it off.

"Alright. Is there breakfast?"

"On the stove." She nodded towards a small stack of pancakes, and Booth eagerly helped himself. As he ate, he asked her what their plans were for the day.

"Dr. Sweets would like to see you," she said, "He asked me to take you down to his office as soon as you're ready."

Booth nodded and ate quietly. He was so eager to try to get his memories back, especially those involving the wonderful person sitting across from him, but he was also nervous. Something he hadn't considered until that moment was that there might be a reason the two of them were not romantically involved. Perhaps they had tried in the past and it had ended badly. Or maybe she didn't feel that way for him, or for that matter, he might not even feel that way for her. Booth looked at his partner carefully, and decided that couldn't be. It was almost instinctive for him to want to be near her, and he smiled when he thought that this was almost like a memory. Maybe he could remember her after all. He decided to put his fears out of his head for now, and worry about them later. He had other things to concentrate on for the time being.

It didn't take long for the two of them to get ready and make their way to Dr. Sweet's office. As they walked in the door, Booth glanced around. It was getting to be a habit for him to look for familiar things in every new situation he was introduced into, and this office apparently was a place he went often. He wasn't surprised to find it unfamiliar, and he sat in the chair Dr. Brennan indicated was his. Dr. Sweets seemed almost nervous, and Booth leaned over to his partner.

"This is the kid I met yesterday," he whispered. "What is he, like twelve? How did we get _him_ as my therapist?"

He was confused to find a huge smile spread across Brennan's face, and Sweets, while looking annoyed, said dryly, "Well, his personality is definitely still intact."

"Dr. Sweets has proven himself highly qualified," Dr. Brennan explained. "Don't worry, you like him."

Booth looked skeptical, but shrugged.

Over the next two hours, Dr. Sweets worked diligently with Booth and Dr. Brennan. Booth got tired very quickly, but he did his best not to show it. Brennan seemed so eager to help, and Dr. Sweets was trying so hard that Booth pushed his desire to rest to the back of his mind and concentrated as hard as he could on Sweets' efforts.

By the end of their session, Booth was exhausted. Brennan needed to stop by her office, and Booth almost didn't have the strength to follow her in, but he made himself go. He knew he needed to be exposed to as many familiar places as possible.

"Booth!" The woman he remembered was introduced to him as Angela came running to meet him. "How did it go with Sweets? Do you remember anything yet?"

Booth shook his head, but tried to smile. Brennan dragged him into her office before her other co-workers could come after him. He was relieved.

The moment he walked into her office, his heart skipped a beat.  
"Temperance," he said curiously, "This place smells familiar."

Her head snapped up sharply from where she had begun digging through her desk.

"Do you know it?"

He looked around him. "I don't know. It smells like…" He stopped and smiled at his friend. "It smells like you."

Dr. Brennan blushed and went back to her paperwork. Booth bit his lip and continued to look around. Did he actually know this place, or did he just know her smell? Frustrated, he walked over to where she sat and leaned over the back of her chair, his face pressed against the back of her neck to take in her scent. She didn't move, but he felt her tremble slightly, and she stopped rustling through her desk.

"Booth," she whispered, "What are you doing?"

He found himself unwilling to step back, and he leaned his head forward, brushing his cheek against hers. He just knew that he was supposed to be close to her. Nothing else felt as right as touching her skin. He reached up and pulled her hair away from her neck. She seemed paralyzed and afraid somehow; she hadn't stopped shaking.

"It's okay," he whispered. "Don't be afraid. I just want to remember."

His stomach was in knots and he found himself trembling with her as he gently laid kisses on the back of her bare neck. He felt so much going on inside of him, he couldn't tell what was nervousness, and what was that same sharp feeling that he kept having with her. He could almost reach out and grab the memory, but it always seemed just beyond his grasp. His thoughts were shattered when she turned in her chair and faced him, her eyes looking closely into his. A question was forming behind them, he knew, but before she could get it out, he heard a knock and Brennan practically leaped from her chair.

"Sorry to interrupt," Angela said regrettably, "but Cam needs you to look at something while you're here. Sorry."

Dr. Brennan excused herself from Booth and left the office. Standing alone, Booth tried to sort his thoughts. What was he doing? He couldn't be acting this way with this woman. She was practically a stranger!

No, she wasn't a stranger. Even though he didn't remember knowing her, Booth still felt a connection. It was there, and he had to pursue it. Who knew, maybe once he remembered everything, the reason he couldn't be with her would resurface and he would have to go back to just being her partner. This thought stung, and Booth sighed as he collapsed into Brennan's chair. Up until this moment, he had wanted his memories back more than anything, but suddenly, he felt as if it was his enemy, and it would bring more pain than relief.

Brennan walked back into her office, and Booth sat up in his chair. As she gathered her things and he followed her out the door, Booth made himself a silent promise. He would remember, but whatever the reason they were apart before, nothing would keep him away from the woman he loved.


	4. Chapter 4

Dr. Brennan was silent. Booth watched her from the passenger seat, waiting for her to speak. He knew it was his actions in her office that caused her silence, and he wondered if he should feel guilty for making her uncomfortable or pleased that he could effect her this way. She shifted in her seat, and he realized that he was staring.

"Sorry," he mumbled, turning to look out his window.

He heard her sigh. He wished he knew what she was thinking. For that matter, he wished he knew what _he_ was thinking. Booth felt so confused. The world still felt like a blank to him, and yet, here was this woman, familiar and yet unfamiliar, who seemed to fill his world with color. He was dying to remember the little things. Where did she go to school? What were her parents like? What was her favorite food? And the most important question of all: Did she have feelings for her partner?

"I have to run by the ATM."

Booth turned and smiled, glad that she was still speaking to him.

"Can I drive back?" he asked. He was starting to feel awkward in the passenger seat. Brennan glanced sideways at him. She didn't look pleased with the idea.

"Come on," he teased, "It can't be that hard. Just show me which is the gas, and which one's the accelerator, and I'll be fine."

For a moment her eyes widened, but she apparently sensed that he was joking, because a grin broke out across her face.

"You enjoy teasing me, Booth."

Relief spread through his body as he felt the tension in the car evaporate.

"I do," he said with a smile. "It's too easy."

Laughing, Brennan pulled into the bank parking lot.

"I'll be right back," she said. Booth watched her get out of the car and walk over to the ATM. He found himself staring and silently scolded himself, turning his head to look elsewhere.

Suddenly, something felt wrong to him, and he glanced around. There was no one around except a man leaned against the corner of the bank, smoking a cigarette. There were three empty cars in the parking lot, and the drive-thru lanes were closed. The past couple of days, a lot of things had felt wrong, but nothing quite like this. It was as if a sixth sense was telling him something wasn't right and his partner should get back in the car. Booth felt frozen to his seat. He was unsure about taking it seriously. After all, she worked with the FBI too. She would know if something were wrong.

"No, no, no…" Booth found himself overcome with panic, and he shakily unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped out of the car. Seconds later, he realized what he had seen. The man who had been standing at the corner inconspicuously smoking a cigarette was watching his partner with an odd look in his eyes, and as the man saw Booth walking swiftly towards her, he tossed his cigarette down on the ground and turned to walk away. As he turned, Booth was shocked to see a slight glimmer under the man's jacket. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he knew.

"Booth?" Brennan heard him walk up behind her, and she turned to find him stepping swiftly past her and towards the suspicious man. "Where are you going?

Booth walked faster. "Go get back in the car," he told his partner as he hurried, and was surprised at the authority in his voice. He reached his hand down to his left…and stopped. He blinked in confusion. The man had rounded the next corner and was gone, and Booth was left standing on the sidewalk with his hand reaching for something that wasn't there.

His partner, who had obviously ignored his authoritative voice, walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"What happened?"

He frowned. "That man had a gun."

Dr. Brennan turned to look for the man, but seeing nothing, she eyed her partner curiously. "Well, he's gone now. Thank you."

Booth looked at his partner, his hand still over his left side.

"I carry a gun, don't I?" Before she could answer, he shook his head. "Of course I carry a gun." He walked slowly back to the car, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He had reached for his gun, a reflex, he guessed. He tried to reach into his forgotten memories for anything about his gun. He tried to think on its shape, color, feel…anything. He didn't want to let go of this. Besides his strong feelings for Dr. Brennan, this was the first real evidence he'd had that his memories were not buried too deep to pull back up.

His partner finished her transaction and returned to the car. He could tell she was curious, but he wasn't sure how to explain what had happened.

"It's just instinct, I think," he said simply.

"What is? Reaching for your gun?"

He smiled. "Protecting you."

She didn't blush this time. Instead, she looked straight ahead, and it occurred to Booth that he had forgotten about his request to drive home. He thought about asking again, but before he could speak, Brennan started up the engine and started to pull out of the parking lot.

"Booth," she began quietly, still looking straight ahead, "Do you think you'll be alright without me tonight?"

He almost jumped at these words, and he stared at her in surprise. Was she angry with him? He felt frightened. He couldn't chase her away, not now that he was just starting to need her, just starting to remember. Trying to keep his composure, he spoke as calmly as possible.

"Sure, Temperance. I'll be fine. I hope I didn't…" she interrupted him by waving her hand, dismissing his words.

"No, it's not your fault, Booth. I just…" She paused, and seemed almost embarrassed. He faced her and put his left arm across the back of her seat, his hand resting on her shoulder. Her face was difficult to read for Booth, but he almost thought he saw fear. He started to draw his hand back, but she reached up and held it in place.

"It's not that, Booth. It's just…" She sighed and shook her head. "Never mind."

Booth frowned. He was extremely frustrated with her. She didn't want to stay with him, but it wasn't his fault. He shook his head at the idea. Of course it was! She didn't have any reserves about it the night before. Of course, he had been a helpless child the night before, and it occurred to Booth that maybe now that he was getting back to his old self, she was uncomfortable staying the night. He wondered if she had ever stayed over before. He sighed. If only he could remember!

Dr. Brennan walked him back up to his apartment and relinquished his car keys. She made a quick walkthrough of the apartment, gathering up her things. Booth stood pouting in the living room. He knew he was being childish, but he felt as if she was abandoning him, and he didn't even know why. The frustration was overwhelming. Finally, she had all of her things by the door, and she made a quick call to Angela, asking for a ride home. Booth still said nothing. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"Booth, I'm sorry I can't stay. I really am." She took a deep breath and sat down on his couch. He walked quickly over and sat next to her, eager to hear whatever it was she had to say. "You are…special to me, and I know that you're starting to realize that you have feelings for me also." His heart skipped a beat, and he leaned closer. "But Booth, it feels wrong somehow, for me to take advantage of that. Please, I want to wait until you remember everything…then we'll see if you still feel the same way. Please."

Booth leaned away from her and tried to take in what she had said. He had to sort out the excitement of hearing her say that he was special to her and her hesitation about showing it. A thought hit him and he looked at her, feeling suddenly annoyed.

"Are you telling me that being with me would feel like cheating on me?"

She tilted her head and seemed to be contemplating his words. Finally, she began to slowly nod.

"I believe that's a fair way to describe it."

He stood up and began to pace the floor.

"What if I don't ever remember? What if I don't get it back? What if this _is_ me? Are you just going to wait and wait…" he stopped, unable to continue. He suddenly felt exhausted, and he shook his head, giving up. "Never mind. I'm sure you're right. I need to lay down."

Sighing, his partner led him to his bedroom, and showed him where he kept his clothes. He tried to pick out something to sleep in, but he was just too tired to figure out which drawer held what, and finally, Brennan just shooed him away.

"Forget it. I'll stay. If you promise me you'll sleep in your bed tonight, I'll stay."

He grinned and nodded. At this point, he was willing to promise her anything to get her to stay nearby. He had a strange feeling that if she left, she wouldn't come back again until he remembered, and he had no idea when that might be.

She showed him his second bathroom, and he was glad to find that he could relax and take a bath. The small rubber duck next to the tub made him smile, and he was relieved to see only one bottle of shampoo.

He heard his partner making dinner in the kitchen, and the clatter of pots and pans reminded him somehow of home. He wondered if it was his childhood home that he remembered or this one. He had no interest in remembering his childhood for the time being. All he wanted now was to remember the life he had now.

He began to smell sweet things coming from the kitchen, and as he pushed his little rubber duck through a tunnel of bubbles, Booth wondered how he had ever lived without her.


	5. Chapter 5

Booth kept his word and stayed in his room all night, though it certainly wasn't easy. When he was very quiet, he was convinced he could hear his partner breathing in the next room, but it could have just been the night breeze outside his window. He drifted in and out of a restless sleep.

Around three in the morning, Booth began to dream. He found himself on a balcony, and somehow he knew it was Dr. Brennan's. He knew he should be pleased, but somehow there was fear in the air. The world seemed to be covered in a haze, because everything was blurry and moving in slow motion. The shape of a man formed in front of him, and before he knew what he was doing, he found himself chasing him. The man leaped off the balcony, and Booth dove to catch him. The weight of the man hanging onto his hand immediately began to strain the muscles in his arm. He called out for help, and Brennan appeared at his side. She looked down at the man hanging from Booth, then back up. Slowly she shook her head and backed away. Booth felt himself in a panic, and he looked down at the helpless figure below him. His pale face was formed into a twisted grin, and when he opened his mouth, a long forked tongue slithered out.

"Look who the killer is now, Agent Booth…" he hissed.

Booth shot up out of bed, panting. His shirt stuck to his chest, and his hands shook uncontrollably. He remembered. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to control his heavy breathing.

He had thought that the first memory he would get back would be something pleasant. Perhaps he would remember something from his childhood, a cheerful moment with a friend, or ideally, a meaningful moment between himself and his partner. He never thought it would be like this. He wanted to cry out and release some of the emotion he felt building up inside of him, but he had promised Brennan that he would sleep alone, and he knew that if he called out to her, she would come. Instead, he took in deep breaths and lay back against his pillow. He was strong. He could handle this.

He awoke that morning feeling much calmer. He dressed quietly, pleased to discover that he could find his own clothes, and slipped into the kitchen. His partner wasn't awake yet, and he was glad. He wanted to cook her breakfast.

By the time Dr. Brennan stumbled sleepily into the kitchen, Booth had eggs, bacon, and toast on the table. She seemed glad to not have to cook (he didn't blame her…she'd been making his meals for him the past two days), and she eagerly ate. Booth sat down beside her and looked down at his plate.

"I had a dream about Howard Epps last night."

Brennan dropped her fork.

"You remember? How much?"

He sighed. "Enough."

She looked excited, and he shook his head. "No, no. I don't remember everything. I remember Howard is all. I remember killing Howard. God, Bones, I…"

He stopped. That same feeling stung in his chest and he stared at his partner.

"Bones."

He felt it again. Something was there, if only he could reach it!

She said nothing. He could see tears begin to form in her eyes, and she nodded to encourage him.

"I call you Bones. Why do I call you that?"

She smiled. "You started calling me that a long time ago, and it used to be extremely irritating. I'm an anthropologist, remember?"

"Anthropologist. I take it that has to do with bones." He smiled as soon as he'd said the words. He knew what an anthropologist was. Why was he playing dumb? It was almost a reflex, and he wondered if it was something that he did often.

Booth wasn't really listening when she began to explain anthropology and her job to him. He was thinking about Epps and the think fog that covered the rest of his memories. He was just sure he could reach through it…he needed only to try hard enough.

"…identifying human remains." Brennan finished her explanation and smiled at Booth. He smiled back, hoping she didn't realize he wasn't paying attention. She seemed to be thinking on something else, and she looked at Booth and spoke firmly.

"You didn't kill Howard. You tried to save him. I know, I was there."

He looked straight back at her without flinching.

"So was I."

She sighed and got up from the table. Booth chose to drop the subject, since it seemed to bother her. He wondered if this was something that they had argued over before. He helped her load the dishwasher and they both settled in his living room with coffee.

"If you don't mind," he said, sipping his french roast and propping his feet up, "I'd rather not go see Dr. Sweets today. Can we just sit back and stay home today?"

She seemed to be thinking on it, and eventually she curled up on the couch next to him and nodded.

"That sounds relaxing. I think it would be good for both of us."

"There, you see?" he grinned and tapped his coffee cup against hers, "To playing hooky."

She shook her head, but she had a pleased smile on her face, and Booth found himself unable to keep his eyes off of her.

"Bones," he began, and found the word so much more familiar. He doubted he ever used the name Temperance, since it sounded so foreign to him. "Tell me about my son."

She smiled and lowered her coffee cup, running her fingers over the handle as she spoke.

"Well, he's six, about to be seven in a couple of months. He likes monkeys, and he's brave…like you." She smiled at him, and he grinned back at her words.

"Oh, here." She got up and walked over to his bookcase, pulling down a picture frame from a tall shelf.

"Here's a picture of him from this school year."

Booth looked closely at the picture, and he stood up quickly from where he sat.

"Parker! Oh my God, Bones! Parker! I know Parker! How could I forget my little boy?" The excitement was almost too much for Booth, and he felt like jumping up and down. He laughed and ran to grab his shoes.

"Can we go see him? Come on, Bones, I…" He stopped. She was still sitting on the couch, staring down at his son's portrait.

"Oh God, Bones, I'm sorry." He knew what was wrong. How could be so insensitive? He walked back and sat beside her, taking her hands in his. He found it odd that their roles seemed suddenly reversed. When had he become the comforter?

"It's okay, Bones. I'll remember! I will. It's coming back; it's just taking some time. Don't worry. I'll remember you." He lifted her hands up and pressed them to his lips. She forced a smile and nodded. He felt so drawn to her, almost hypnotized. He wondered how he could feel so strongly for someone he had only known for two days. There was no mistaking what he felt though, and he had to force himself to let go of her. She seemed to be trying to form a question.

"What is it?" he asked.

She spoke hesitantly. "Booth, do you remember Parker's mother?"

He felt a slight sting at the words. Rebecca. He did remember. He remembered her turning down his proposal, threatening to keep Parker away from him…he looked at his partner and tried his best to give her a blank look.

"No."

She seemed relieved, and Booth found himself feeling glad, and yet awful that he had lied to her. He tried to push the feeling away. She stood and stretched.

"Well, I'll call your ex and see if we can meet and see Parker when he gets out of school this afternoon. Until then, why don't we go for a walk? You love D.C., you know."

He smiled and agreed. It was going to come back. He just knew it. He was going to remember.


	6. Chapter 6

Booth did love D.C. So many things about the city gave him a warm, proud feeling. As they walked, Brennan pointed out buildings and monuments that Booth was familiar with. Some he knew, and some he didn't, but he was no longer frustrated. Everything was coming back.

Everything except the most important thing.

His partner walked calmly beside him, carrying on conversation as if everything was normal. Booth wondered if she was angry with him for not remembering her. He knew she must have been having doubts about his feelings for her. After all, how could she believe that she was so important to him when she was the last on his mind's list of priorities? He sighed, irrationally irritated with his subconscious.

The day went by slowly to Booth. He remembered many things, but tried very hard to keep them to himself. Every new memory that came back to him seemed like an insult to his partner.

The highlight of his day was seeing Parker. Rebecca brought him to a park near Booth's apartment after he got out of school. He forgot that he wasn't supposed to remember her, and he saw Brennan's eyes flash when he accidentally called her by her first name. He noticed the two were very civil to each other, and he was proud of how polite Brennan was.

Parker showed him his report card, and Booth ranted and raved about how proud he was. He was simply elated to be a father again. He felt as if he'd lost Parker for two days and was just now finding him again. His joy was uncontainable. He carried Parker on his shoulders and played with him for almost an hour. Brennan played with them too, and he was pleased at how good she seemed to be with his son. She didn't exactly understand the art of pretending, but she tried hard and smiled big, and that was all that mattered to Parker.

Since it was a school night, Rebecca came back after their hour together and took Parker home with her. Booth hugged him tight as he buckled him up in the backseat.

"I love you, buddy," he told him with a smile. "You be a good boy for your mom, okay?"

Parker nodded and hugged his daddy's neck. "Love you too, Daddy. I'll be good."

Booth stepped back and shut the door, feeling all the joy of a proud father. He waved to Rebecca and watched them drive away. Brennan laid a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm glad we did that, Booth. I think it was good for you."

He smiled and linked his arm with hers.

"You know what, Bones? I think it was good for you too."

The two of them walked the streets of D.C., headed back to his apartment. It started to get dark early, and Booth was annoyed to see clouds gather over their heads. He was in too good of a mood to complain, and as he felt drops of rain hit the top of his head, he asked his partner if she wanted to duck in somewhere and wait it out.

"I'm not afraid of getting a little wet," she said defensively. "Unless you…"

Booth raised his hand to stop her, and in response to her concern, he tilted his head back and opened his mouth to catch the rain. She laughed and gave him a gentle shove. He exaggerated the impact and let himself fall off against the side of the nearby store window, resulting in several glares from inside the store. Laughing, Brennan pulled him back next to her and did her best to help him stand straight up, but he was laughing too hard to cooperate.

The two friends walked side by side down the sidewalk, the rain falling around them and soaking through their clothes. Booth reached over and held his partner's hand, hardly noticing the drip of water pouring off his hair and chin. She looked a little cold, so Booth put his arm around her instead and held her close to him. She sighed and leaned against his warm body. Booth couldn't keep the grin off his face. He couldn't remember ever being so happy.

The closer they got to his apartment building, the slower they walked. The sun had gone down, and all was dark except for the streetlights that lined the sidewalk. Booth didn't want the moment to end, and when they reached the last corner, he stopped. Brennan looked up at him through the rain. He still had one arm around her waist, and he brought the other up to slide his hand into her hair. She leaned forward hesitantly, and Booth took the hint. Hardly daring to breathe, he bent his head down to brush his lips with hers, but before he touched her…

The world stopped.

Booth saw a hundred things at once, and he heard Brennan's voice in his head.

"I wish you wouldn't keep letting me hug you when I get scared."

"You know I'm just ... I'm just one of those people who doesn't get to be in a family."

"Sometimes I think you're really very nice."

He stepped back away from her and his eyes widened. She looked curiously up at him, as the memories continued to flood his mind.

"We could be Wonder Woman and Clark Kent after a really, really bad date."

"You're a very good father."

"You really think I'm special?"

His breath came out in a huff and he had to lean down and brace his hands on his knees to keep from falling over. Brennan grabbed him and tried to help him stand. She was saying something, but he couldn't hear it. He was hearing her voice from somewhere else.

"I get nervous when you fall down and don't get up."

"You're the only FBI agent I want to work with."

He saw her walking beside him on his way to surgery. He saw the tears in her eyes as he said his goodbye, just in case.

"You're going to be fine, Booth. I'll be right here."

He heard her voice as he woke up, confused and alone.

"Burdens that allow us to fly…"

He saw her standing over his hospital bed.

"It took you so long to wake up…"

Booth felt tears in his eyes, and he was suddenly aware of Brennan's fretful cries.

"Booth! What's going on? Are you okay? Booth!"

He found himself laughing and crying all at once, and he wrapped his arms around his partner, pulling her close to him and pressing his face into her hair.

"Booth! What is it?"

He pulled back and looked up at the sky, the rain pouring onto his face. He closed his eyes and thanked God for the miracle he'd just experienced.

"Oh God, Bones, I remember. Oh thank God, I remember. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. God, I'm sorry."

Realizing what he was saying, Brennan began to laugh.

"You remember me? Booth, you remember me?"

"I remember, I remember!" He picked her up and spun her around, unable to control his excitement. She leaned her head back and laughed into the rain. As he let her down, he found that he didn't want to let go. He left his hands wrapped around her waist, and she slid hers up around his neck.

"You remember? You remember everything?"

Her voice was hardly more than a whisper. She was shaking again, and Booth knew he was breathing heavy. He leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.

"I remember everything."

Before he could change his mind, he leaned down quickly and pressed his lips against hers. The rain slid down his face and he tasted it in her kiss. He felt as if he were drinking her in with the rain, and his senses overloaded with the feel of her. She pulled herself close against him, and he gently leaned her against the wall behind them. Her hands were sliding up his neck and into his hair, and she stood on tiptoe, trying to get as close to him as possible. He moaned and pulled her up even closer. He never knew a kiss could feel this way, and he never wanted it to end.

When he did finally pull back, he stood gasping for breath and staring at her. He watched her expression for a sign of regret, but there was none. She was smiling nervously, so he pulled her head down to his chest and held her tight against him. The relief he felt in remembering what he had lost was nothing compared to the joy he now experienced just having her in his arms.

"Everything's going to be fine, Bones," he whispered, looking back up into the sky and closing his eyes. "I'm back."

------Thank you everyone who followed this story and was so encouraging. You were all so sweet, and I really appreciate it.


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